THE INSANE WORLD OF RUBBISH (& WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT US!)

IT'S THE 21st CENTURY. NONE OF US IS AN ILLITERATE MUTANT, CRAPPING IN THE STREET. SO WHY IS THE UK STILL SWIMMING IN LITTER?

With the release of my first track, "Rubbish", I wanted to delve a bit further into the waste bin of this topic. Because it is both maddening and quite revealing. And, sadly, we are so used to it we have become blind - and culpable.

Is there any corner of Britain left that isn’t decorated with defunct vapes, empty cans of Monster energy drink and half-eaten food that was inedible bullshit long before it hit the floor and got used as a seagull tug-of-war? When archaeologists look at our remains 5000 years from now, what will they make of us? It was looking around my neighbourhood and pondering this that prompted the song “Rubbish”- but I’ll let you unpack the lyrics yourself. 

How are we meant to feel when even national parks end up with discarded empties and plastic bags? Sociologists and cultural studies anoraks get all of a lather about books and art, but a far quicker and more direct way to get to know any culture is to go through its rubbish (or trash to our American cousins, who love trash so much they vote it into office). Rubbish speaks about throwaway culture and a lack of care. When it gets really bad, it can lead to vermin infestastionsand and even help topple governments (see the Winter of Discontent 1978/79).

On a personal level, I find the issue of litter hugely triggering. I would rather you called me pretty much anything than dropped crap where my kid plays. The last time I nearly got into a physical fight, it was after seeing a man openly litter in the street. After the initial surprise at someone giving a shit about this, he perhaps didn’t appreciate his empty tin of Pisski being returned to him via his shirt collar. I do not recommend this course of action!

Perhaps I shouldn’t care so much? Could it even be quite middle class and Western of me to give a damn about something humans have done forever? If we find Roman litter or something a tribesman has discarded, it is valuable and fascinating; not so with the crap thrown away by 21st Century Brits. 

A personal history of rubbish

I don’t necessarily write from a position of white class privilege: to help pay my way as a student, I would work as a street sweeper and bin collector. My mates laughed at this- but I still maintain that civilised society would collapse faster without binmen than lawyers. It was a world of nasty smells, but also discovery and a respect for a forgotten workforce.

Early on, a veteran of the job, an elderly Welshman, showed me the ropes and shared a world view that had been part-formed by rubbish. He had a deep sense of civility and did the job with pride as well as complaints. He also listened to classic music on a plastic walkman, and carried a metal bar just in case the local oiks gave him bother. He was a diamond, surrounded by shite.

The things we cleared up and the items thrown away were absolutely staggering. Perfectly good toys and books. Sometimes totally unused clothing or food still in date. Some of it made me weirdly melancholy or sentimental. Like dead song birds or weird, orphaned teddies and dolls. My mates took the piss, and even photographed me in overalls and gloves (camera phones were quite a new thing). But I don’t regret a minute of it- and I think if everyone did a few weeks of it, our whole attitude to waste could be transformed.

Grim stats and facts on rubbish in the UK and beyond

Ok, so you might think, so rubbish isn't the end of the world is it? So what if some animals choke and your nan moans about the town looking sloppy? But delve into the facts and it's not just food waste that stinks. Here are some belters:

• In an anonymous 2022 survey, almost half of Brits (49%) admitted to dropping litter at the beach of all places. Other surveys have revealed figures of 40%+ . Seriously, what the **** is wrong with us?

• Cleaning up litter and fly tipping costs the UK at least ONE BILLION QUID every year!

• An estimated 3 MILLION + animals in the UK die every year as the direct result of litter.

Can we read something deeper into this? I've often wondered, looking at empties on my wall, if it's some sort of statement? Is it sheer laziness? Does it reflect a lack of care or pride in where you live? Could it even be a two finger salute from those who have little or nothing? Perhaps if you don't care for people, they stop caring about their area? Who knows.

Rubbish songs (and truths)

As you might have gathered from my song of that very title, I am frustrated and fascinated by rubbish. During recording and filming I found, among other things a barbie doll, a wig, countless food and drink waste (takeaways and energy drink cans being the most common) and a plastic unicorn.

Most depressing of all though, was a tale from a mate who, like me, enjoys fishing. One day he was below a bridge in a town, just enjoying a quiet hour. From up above, a chap throws a bottle in. Aghast, my pal looks up to see he has a little girl with him. The dad then says to her "Ok, now you throw yours!"

Where do we start with this? Like rubbish itself, the problem is endless. Folks leaving crap on the beach. Broken glass and plastic in playgrounds and even nature reserves.

Are we not better than this? You don't need to answer that, but as a parting shot, here's what I would do if I was in power:

• Introduce a compulsory £200 fine or one week's community service litter picking for anyone caught littering (possibly wearing a hi-vis vest saying "Hello, I am one of the twats who drops litter round here").

• For repeat offences, double both of the above.

• Takeaway chains such as McDonalds to include traceable code on packaging, so litterers can be instantly identified.

• Create much more emphasis on supermarkets and companies to reduce packaging, especially plastic.

• Introduce bottle and can return schemes, just like they've been doing for decades across Europe. In Switzerland, you can even play a fruit machines with tins and bottles as tokens! Surprise, surprise- you don't find crap in every hedgerow and park.

What else can I say? If you are one of the 40%+ who litters, hang your head in shame. I hope that for you, hell is an eternity of picking up the sort of shite you discard. Or you are reincarnated as a small animal, suffocating in the bottle you lobbed from your car windown, you thoughtless waste of skin!